In this blog we are going to tell you about Gaslighting in Friendships, so read this blog carefully to get the complete information.
Friendship is a blissful relationship. It is the only relationship in which we can choose whom we want to be friends with. Friends can be our supporters and companions as they don’t judge us. However, not every friend is the same, and not every friendship is unconditional. Have you ever seen toxic friends? Do you know what Gaslighting means? You may have heard this term in conversation on TV. This term has become quite common over the last few years. You may have seen the cases of gas lighting as well but it is not always easy to recognize it. But it is important to not believe gas lighters as they are usually manipulative. Gaslighting is often seen in romantic relationships but it is done in friendships too. You might have also done Gaslighting before without even realizing what kind of impact it can have. But if you do not know what Gaslighting is then continue reading as you will not only learn about what Gaslighting in Friendships means but also get other information that would be helpful for you to deal with it.
What is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse that makes people feel like their memories and experiences were all made up and their feelings are not true. Thus people who become victims of gaslighters question every memory of themselves that they have about specific incidents and traumas. Abusers do so to gain power over another person and let off their own behavior because the abuse they did is like “didn’t happen.”
In the very beginning, gaslighting is all for power and control. It is most common in romantic partnerships, but it can be seen in any relationship. The people who gaslight sometimes lack self-awareness as they don’t even realize that they’re being shitty and cruel.
About Gaslighting in Friendships
Gaslighting in a friendship has become quite common either because of the competition out there or because people are just too selfish. Gaslighting in friendship challenges understanding the reality of a person. Gaslighters can make you doubt yourself, your views, your memories, and recent incidents. You may feel confused and question if there is something wrong with you after talking with the person who is gaslighting you. You can be dominated to believe that you are to criticize for anything or that you’re being overly sensitive. They can make you wrong.
You may get confused and you can start to doubt your memory, judgment, and self-worth, and this can impact your mental health as a result of gaslighting. However, understanding the tactics that a person who is gaslighting you could use may be helpful. Some of these strategies include most conversations are gossip, lying often, befriending you with others, they shift the blame on you and they like love bombing.
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How do you recognize Gaslighting in Friendships?
The following are some ways or behaviors through which you can identify if your friends are Gaslighting or not:
- Pitting Friends Against Each Other
Gaslighting friends like conflict and so provoke people against one another. Usually, this motive comes from deep jealousy. So, this friend may initiate rumors about you just to see how people react. They think that others will be “grateful” for their truth and will start liking them.
- Befriending Romantic Partners
Gaslighting friends usually want to get close to important friends of yours. They may be intentionally trying to provoke jealousy and they might also be surely interested in stealing your partner. When you confront them, they will deny these intentions and even blame your partner for being so flirtatious.
- Showing Fake Concern
They show concern like getting worried about how much you forget things. Gaslighting friends may play charades, claiming they care about someone’s well-being while simultaneously striving to tear that other person down. The victim often feels perplexed by the statement and starts questioning their own truth.
- Continuous Gossip
Gaslighting friends conquers gossip, as it delivers them a sense of assurance, control, and power. Therefore, they will frequently get close to you just to “dig up dirt” and then use that information as power when they need it later and can use it against you as well.
- Invalidating Emotions
Gaslighting friends may create comments that convey that others are always overstating or acting inappropriately. They might make unpleasant statements like, You don’t really feel that way, or It’s not that bad- other people have it so much harder than you! These statements can easily make people feel hurt and ashamed of themselves.
How to deal with Gaslighting?
It is really important to deal with such gaslighting that can make you feel horrible. Here are some ways that can help deal with backlighting when you recognize such friends:
- Emotional Distance
Once you have become aware of a gaslighting friend, you should spend some time observing how gaslighters operate in a group. The least prominent option would be to increase some emotional distance from this friend. You should not react when they try to provoke an argument. For instance, you can simply say “thank you for letting me know”, and then possibly do some digging of your own later, but don’t obey the gaslighter on blind faith anymore. If they try gossiping with you, you might cut them off by saying “I’d rather hear it from them, if they want to share it with me” and walk away and try not to hear that gossip.
- Confrontation
If the emotional distance isn’t enough to solve and they are too toxic then it might be time for confrontation. Here you don’t mean to certainly argue with the gaslighting friend, but to ask them if they are conscious of what they are doing, why they do it, what they want to get out of it, and their other motives. You should make them aware of what they are doing. You may get the support of other friends who have noticed the same behavior, but make sure that your gaslighter friend must not feel ganged up on.
- End the Friendship
If the confrontation doesn’t help and they don’t accept their mistake, then it is perhaps time to end the friendship. This is possibly difficult and you might lose a couple of other friends as well. But if the friendship is impacting your mental health and happiness, then it is important to do so. An outcome of this can be that others will ultimately figure out what the gaslighter friend is like and will make contact with you again once they have had that realization that you were right.
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The bottom line
Gaslighting can happen anywhere including friendships, relationships, workplaces, and homes, and can be a painful experience. It can make you struggle with your own mind and reality because gaslighters constantly tell you that you are wrong. While gaslighting may not be such a famous word, the action plays out in various forms in our day-to-day life and can have a really bad impact on the victim. Hence, we hope that this article helped show you the signs that you are being gaslighted or how you can recognize it, and how to deal with a gaslighter friend in every situation.
Conclusion
We Hope this blog is sufficient enough to provide the information about Gaslighting in Friendships. Thanks for reading this blog.
